Like many people, I have been struggling to make sense of what is happening in the Middle East, in Israel and Gaza, wondering how this bitter conflict will ever be resolved.  I won’t pretend to have the answer, but I refuse to give up hope that some day soon there will be peace.  

Forgiveness teaches us the power of story, and that we have a choice of which story we tell. Our story can imprison us or liberate us.  Nowhere is the power of story more apparent right now than in the Middle East.

As much as anything, we are seeing a battle of narratives, with each side spinning events to justify their actions and bring condemnation to the other side.  Words are carefully chosen to provoke and inflame. Notice how each side demonizes and dehumanizes the other. This then provides an excuse for refusing to even try to understand or reason with the other. These are common and well-known strategies, something mediators see every day in all types of conflict.  

Amidst all of this, a man who gives me hope is Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC (nonviolent communication). I want to share a video clip in which Marshall he explains how he has successfully used NVC in the Middle East.

Marshall shows us there is a pathway to peace. We can help people move past their story, even when the story is angry and ugly and pointed at us. The key is to look beyond the words, the story, the rhetoric, and focus on human feelings and needs.  Actually, its not that complicated.  It just requires a different approach. It reminds me that we already have everything we need whether we know it or not. It gives me hope.

May we all learn to live in peace – soon!

“Are we there yet?” is a well-known refrain from childhood car trips, but this question creeps into adult lives too.

I was visiting an friend last week who has been a forgiveness teacher for many years. He shared with me how discouraged he feels because he still has so much forgiveness work to do. He asked if I ever feel this way. My answer to him was a resounding yes. The only difference between he and I is that I have no expectation that it will be otherwise. His discouragement reveals the unspoken belief that he should already have arrived at a place where he has no further need to forgive.  In other words, he was asking: “Why aren’t I there yet?”

As long as we are alive, there will be opportunities to forgive, chances to heal conflict with others and within ourselves. The work is never done. The healing is never finished. The need for forgiveness is ongoing. We will never be ‘there.’ Its important to know this.

Its also important to know that forgiveness teachers are not exempt. I’m grateful to be a forgiveness teacher and privileged to share what I have I have been shown. However, I don’t want to be put on a pedestal. Trust me, I have my share of problems, issues and shortcomings. I am no different in that regard from anyone reading this. 

No, we are not ‘there’ yet and yes, the journey can seem endless. But it is good to see the positive side: There is also no limit to our potential to grow. There is no limit to our ability to heal. And there is no limit to our capacity to experience ever greater heights of love.

“If I could end this suffering and find peace, it would be worth diamonds.”

The woman who said this had just finished telling me about a painful situation she was in with her sister. While she yearned for release and an end to suffering, it almost seemed that forgiveness and peace were too much for her to hope for. Yet she recognized the great value it held for her if she could achieve it.

I told her and I can tell you – with certainty – that the place within each of us that holds that deep hope for forgiveness and peace carries the light at the end of the tunnel. Go towards it. It will surely lead you to diamonds!

For anyone feeling called toward forgiveness, I’ll be offering several programs this summer (soon to be announced) and today I’m officially launching the Fall Women’s Forgiveness Retreat!  

 Women’s Forgiveness Retreat

The women’s forgiveness retreat is a unique chance to immerse yourself in the healing energy of forgiveness, surrounded and supported by other amazing women. You will be guided through a powerful forgiveness process that will enable you to release the beliefs, stories and patterns that no longer serve you. You will have the chance to discover your true self, and experience more peace and love than you may have thought possible.

Here are just a few of the comments from recent participants:

This experience was so profound and positive. Resulted in huge benefits for work and personal life.  Barbara M.

Eileen’s leadership helped every person feel like they were the most special person at the retreat and that she really cares about their outcome. Megan M.

Eileen is able to go to the exact right place with each person, at the exact right moment!  Lisa Q.

Just what I needed. Many insights and openings. And, an incredible deal.  I achieved far more in this retreat than in years of therapy.  The tools I learned have been invaluable and I turn to them daily.  Anne H.

• Are you in a painful relationship or still suffering from a past relationship?
• Have you already tried many things to improve the situation, but to no avail?
• Does the situation hold you back or cost you in important ways?
• Are you ready to stop suffering?
• Are you open to learning a powerful forgiveness process that can be used personally and professionally?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, it is likely that you have much to gain from a forgiveness retreat!

Click here for more information:

Women’s Forgiveness Retreat
October 16 – 19, 2014

And – there is a reduced fee for repeaters.  Contact me for details.

Forgiveness works!  Come and discover this for yourself!

A few months ago I was asked to write an article on the healing power of forgiveness for Coping With Cancer magazine. That article was just published. I’d love for you to check out the article and share it with anyone you know who might benefit. It contains a link to a beautiful guided visualization (audio) entitled “Letting Love In” which can be downloaded for free.

Because the article is not yet online, I’ve posted it below and on my Forgiveness Facebook Page, which you can access here.

(While you’re there, please like my page!) 

Anyone who has received a cancer diagnosis knows that its challenges go beyond the physical.

Often the greatest challenges are the psychological and emotional ones. It’s common for cancer patients to vacillate between intense fear, anger, grief, hopelessness and depression, wondering at a core level “Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?”

During this difficult experience, we may not realize that the way we think about cancer can have an enormous influence on our well-being. We can dwell on negative thoughts that make us feel worse, or we can choose to focus on positive thoughts that enable us to forgive and heal. We have the power to change the way we think.

Even though I had been teaching and writing about forgiveness for many years, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, forgiveness was the last thing on my mind. Some days I was scared to the core. Other days I felt angry. I wept. I grieved. I did my best to cope with my emotions, but increasingly I felt as if I was drowning inside. I knew I had to make peace with cancer and within myself.

Out of my despair, I resolved to apply the lessons I taught on forgiveness to my own situation. In time, my anger and fear dissolved and I experienced deep inner healing. This experience confirmed for me that forgiveness is a powerful healing force. You too can use the healing power of forgiveness to cope with cancer. Here’s how:

Reclaim your identity. As medical appointments and treatments engulf your life, it’s easy to begin identifying yourself only as a cancer patient. However, who you are – the essence of your being — is much more than a person with cancer. Find ways to stay connected to your larger, true identity.

Be the author of your story. Have you ever taken the time to think about your cancer story? The way you think and talk about your cancer experience will profoundly influence your emotions, mood and outlook – good or bad. In your story, do you see yourself as the victim or as the hero? When you become aware of our story, you can then choose to rewrite it.

Determine who you need to forgive. Many people blame themselves for getting cancer. I was among that crowd. I needed to forgive myself for all of the things that I did or failed to do that might have caused the cancer. I needed to forgive my body. I also needed to forgive science for not offering more solutions. I needed to forgive God, fate and life itself for dealing me such a seeming unfair card. Who do you need to forgive?

Feel it to heal it. Emotional release is part of forgiving. Many people with cancer report having feelings of anger and resentment. Forgiveness provides a way to release this toxic energy. Whether your anger is directed at others, yourself, or God, holding on to anger and blame can trap you in an emotional prison. Forgiveness is the key that can unlock the door to freedom and inner peace.

Discover cancer’s gifts. At first, you might reject the possibility that there could be anything positive about cancer. However, if you are willing to consider this possibility, you may be amazed at what you discover. Many report that cancer taught them to slow down, take more time for themselves, say no to things they don’t want to do, ask for help when needed, let others in, and live life more fully, taking nothing for granted.

Instead of buying into the thought that cancer is the worst thing that ever happened to you, what if you chose to see it as a profound opportunity to learn and grow, a chance to really let love in? Forgiveness invites you to look at things differently and ultimately, to tell a different story about your experience. Are you willing find the silver linings of cancer? If so, you may begin to see your cancer experience as a doorway to inner healing.

Download Eileen’s free guided visualization audio recording “Letting Love In” by visiting:  www.ThePathofForgiveness.com/Letting-Love-In

Forgiveness Resources

Beyond Right and Wrong – Film showing inspiring role forgiveness played in Rwandan Genocide, Israeli-Palestinian conflict and violence in Northern Ireland. View online for free.  Eaching viewing raises matching funds for important charties.

Tutu’s Global Forgiveness Challenge – A free 30-Day Journey of Forgiveness.  Sign up now!  Join people from 143 countries who have already registred.  

Finding Peace Through Forgiveness with Lori Rubenstein – Sedona, AZ.  First Tuesday of every month at Unity of Sedona.  Build your forgiveness muscles in a confidential group setting.