Letting Love In

A few months ago I was asked to write an article on the healing power of forgiveness for Coping With Cancer magazine. That article was just published. I’d love for you to check out the article and share it with anyone you know who might benefit. It contains a link to a beautiful guided visualization (audio) entitled “Letting Love In” which can be downloaded for free.

Because the article is not yet online, I’ve posted it below and on my Forgiveness Facebook Page, which you can access here.

(While you’re there, please like my page!) 


Anyone who has received a cancer diagnosis knows that its challenges go beyond the physical.

Often the greatest challenges are the psychological and emotional ones. It’s common for cancer patients to vacillate between intense fear, anger, grief, hopelessness and depression, wondering at a core level “Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?”

During this difficult experience, we may not realize that the way we think about cancer can have an enormous influence on our well-being. We can dwell on negative thoughts that make us feel worse, or we can choose to focus on positive thoughts that enable us to forgive and heal. We have the power to change the way we think.

Even though I had been teaching and writing about forgiveness for many years, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, forgiveness was the last thing on my mind. Some days I was scared to the core. Other days I felt angry. I wept. I grieved. I did my best to cope with my emotions, but increasingly I felt as if I was drowning inside. I knew I had to make peace with cancer and within myself.

Out of my despair, I resolved to apply the lessons I taught on forgiveness to my own situation. In time, my anger and fear dissolved and I experienced deep inner healing. This experience confirmed for me that forgiveness is a powerful healing force. You too can use the healing power of forgiveness to cope with cancer. Here’s how:

Reclaim your identity. As medical appointments and treatments engulf your life, it’s easy to begin identifying yourself only as a cancer patient. However, who you are – the essence of your being — is much more than a person with cancer. Find ways to stay connected to your larger, true identity.

Be the author of your story. Have you ever taken the time to think about your cancer story? The way you think and talk about your cancer experience will profoundly influence your emotions, mood and outlook – good or bad. In your story, do you see yourself as the victim or as the hero? When you become aware of our story, you can then choose to rewrite it.

Determine who you need to forgive. Many people blame themselves for getting cancer. I was among that crowd. I needed to forgive myself for all of the things that I did or failed to do that might have caused the cancer. I needed to forgive my body. I also needed to forgive science for not offering more solutions. I needed to forgive God, fate and life itself for dealing me such a seeming unfair card. Who do you need to forgive?

Feel it to heal it. Emotional release is part of forgiving. Many people with cancer report having feelings of anger and resentment. Forgiveness provides a way to release this toxic energy. Whether your anger is directed at others, yourself, or God, holding on to anger and blame can trap you in an emotional prison. Forgiveness is the key that can unlock the door to freedom and inner peace.

Discover cancer’s gifts. At first, you might reject the possibility that there could be anything positive about cancer. However, if you are willing to consider this possibility, you may be amazed at what you discover. Many report that cancer taught them to slow down, take more time for themselves, say no to things they don’t want to do, ask for help when needed, let others in, and live life more fully, taking nothing for granted.

Instead of buying into the thought that cancer is the worst thing that ever happened to you, what if you chose to see it as a profound opportunity to learn and grow, a chance to really let love in? Forgiveness invites you to look at things differently and ultimately, to tell a different story about your experience. Are you willing find the silver linings of cancer? If so, you may begin to see your cancer experience as a doorway to inner healing.

Download Eileen’s free guided visualization audio recording “Letting Love In” by visiting:  www.ThePathofForgiveness.com/Letting-Love-In


Forgiveness Resources

Beyond Right and Wrong – Film showing inspiring role forgiveness played in Rwandan Genocide, Israeli-Palestinian conflict and violence in Northern Ireland. View online for free.  Eaching viewing raises matching funds for important charties.

Tutu’s Global Forgiveness Challenge – A free 30-Day Journey of Forgiveness.  Sign up now!  Join people from 143 countries who have already registred.  

Finding Peace Through Forgiveness with Lori Rubenstein – Sedona, AZ.  First Tuesday of every month at Unity of Sedona.  Build your forgiveness muscles in a confidential group setting.

About Eileen Barker

EILEEN BARKER has been writing and speaking on forgiveness, and guiding people who need to either forgive themselves or someone else, for many years. A practicing litigation lawyer who rejected the traditional adversarial role, Eileen has focused her practice on mediation, helping thousands of people resolve disputes outside of court. This work led her into a deep exploration of forgiveness as it relates to resolving conflict and making peace, both with others and oneself.

Speak Your Mind