Roadmap to Love

A month or so ago I was feeling particularly miserable. I had been working hard on several projects, with little to show for it. My mind supplied all kinds of reasons that added insult to injury: I am a failure. Not good enough. Not worthy. Unlovable. Uggh. I desperately needed to find the exit from my own negative thinking. But how? How do you shift gears when you are stuck inside your own personal hell?

Until we awaken from our habitual patterns, our life experiences are defined by our mind and ego.  Our thoughts, beliefs and stories, which are often quite negative, give us a limited version of who we are, and this becomes our identity. This limited self is the part that suffers, rages, resents, hurts, blames and needs to be right. But the limited self is not who we really are. Who we really are, our true essence, is connected to the infinite and universal lifeforce. 

It became very clear to me that each of us is capable of creating our own personal hell, but we can also create own personal heaven. It requires to awaken from the trance of our negative patterns, to stop identifying with our false self and start identifying with our true self:

1.  Realize that you have slipped back into an old
     pattern of negative thoughts and feelings.

2.  Remember these old patterns, no matter how familiar and
     compelling, are not the truth and do not serve you.

3.  Reconnect with love, your true essence, as quickly as

Roadmap Back to Love
Remember your negative feelings do not define you.
Stop listening to the negative messages.
Spend time in nature.
Take slow deep breaths when you feel wobbly.
Consciously connect to a higher power.
Ask higher power for help, and make space to receive it.
Embrace the parts of yourself that are suffering with  compassion.
Forgive yourself, recognizing you have done the best you can.
Remember where there is pain, there is an opportunity to heal and have more love in your life.
Visualize having the life experience you desire and  feel your gratitude.
Change the scenery.  Do something fun and nurturing. If your mind tells you can’t, or that you don’t have the  time or money, find a creative way to do it anyway.
 Watch how quickly your mood shifts. As you feel yourself once again “in the flow,” continue practicing gratitude!


About Eileen Barker

EILEEN BARKER has been writing and speaking on forgiveness, and guiding people who need to either forgive themselves or someone else, for many years. A practicing litigation lawyer who rejected the traditional adversarial role, Eileen has focused her practice on mediation, helping thousands of people resolve disputes outside of court. This work led her into a deep exploration of forgiveness as it relates to resolving conflict and making peace, both with others and oneself.

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